October 10, 2013
1. For convenience, I’m writing to a female reader, but everything regards, overturning the point of view, even the male audience.
2. When I talk about the “horned” I refer to an acquaintance or a stranger, but never to a friend.
3. The situation doesn’t include the presence of children.
Each of you, at least once in your life, has been in the condition to desire the other women’s partner and/or to have been desired from him. Someone has just thought about it (utopian lover), others have sent small “romantic” signals but nothing more (potential lover), someone has instead attempted a courtship and then has given up the idea (affected lover), and others have participated fully in the betrayal (real lover). Regardless of the category of “lover” in which each of you has belonged, certainly questions/ thoughts like these have flashed in your mind:
“Can I try despite he’s engaged?”, ” What will happen if the wife comes to know it?”, “Why should I rankle her girlfriend even though she does not deserve it?”, “Will he ever love me as he loves her?”, “Why should I feel regret? If he cheats her then he does not love her!”, “If he is betraying her how can I be sure he will not do the same with me?”, “I do not want to be that kind of girl that ruin other people’s love/family”, “I would never do it because I would never want someone do the same to me”, “I don’t want to ruin my reputation” etc.
The situation is simpler than you think .
The problem is certainly not “don’t do to others what you do not want others do to you” .. this is one of the most hypocritical teachings. I reformulate the sentence as follows: “Do not do unto others what you’ll never do in general, regardless of yourself” , otherwise you wont do something just because you don’t want to receive the same treatment, and certainly not because you feel it’s really something wrong. It’s a bit like giving a gift for Christmas just with the expectation to receive another one (or do not do it just because you have not already received one before). So, don’t think too much about why or how, or if you could or could not be the lover of that person, because if you have never wanted to be the lover of anyone, you wouldn’t have never even asked to yourself these kind of questions. Here there is just yourself. The only question you need to ask to yourself is “Do I really want to be someone’s mistress?”. If the answer is yes, then do it. And do not feel guilty about the potential horned, because the fault is not yours. Trust me because if you refuse to be his mistress, he will find another women right behind you. The potential horned is already designed to become horned because she has on her side a fake boyfriend who acts a fake love and that gives fake flowers on Valentine’s Day… Indeed..perhaps at the beginning you can feel a little bit guilty but later you will realize that you have done a good action because you’re going to ruin a fake “family”, that has no sense to exist because of its lie, and if the horned have a piece of brain that still works, you will open her eyes before it will be too late for her. And if she has a shred of common sense, she will thank you. Otherwise, if she is a blind_stupid_poor girl, she will be angry with you, she will offend you in every way possible, she will try to tarnish your reputation, she will try to let you feel guilty giving you the blame for everything… she will pretend to leave the fake boyfriend (that in her eyes is after all a tender and weak teddy without faults) and then she will go back to him for being happily horned again. A real horned into a sea of fiction.
Lover has no faults…
… except to do not love herself enough to do not be the mistress of anyone.