I decided to talk about jealousy, a dear topic for many…maybe for everyone.
I will try to tell you what I think about it..
First, the concept of jealousy has to be related with the concept of loving yourself because, in my opinion, if you are jealous it means you don’t love yourself. This is the key point, the basis of every jealous situations. I could not say more, but I want to get involved a little in this dense and impenetrable invisible prison called “jealousy”.
Generally, the state of jealousy is exercised by those who live relationships with insecurity, anxiety and possession. I believe that jealousy does not arise simply from the fear of losing a person, but it arises mainly from the fear of sharing that person.. And we cannot think that the person we love or that loves us, can be loved by someone else or love someone else at the same time…The fear that this shared love will be extended to other people it’s mostly dictated by the fear of all fears, i.e. the fear of contact: the thing that scares us most is that the person we love can touch or be touched by someone else. A fear so great that most of the time flows into the pathetic, when a simple look can set fire to most of the indomitable spirits, touching even deeper than a hand. A look that, for the jealous, can appear as a real betrayal: the jealous becomes the witness of an actual sexual act. He hears cries that burn inside. He/she feels naked, as if his/her body was suddenly stripped of all dignity, worn out and squeezed to the bone…a body that have to be thrown away.
The person that has received the glance instead appears as a flower just bloomed, eager to light and generous to donate his nectar. You cannot compete with it. It’s chaos.
However, this situation falls on the pathological when the exchange of glances in question becomes purely imaginary because it’s born in the imaginative mind of the jealous. A mind which is self- projecting a new film that runs fast and covers, envelops and crushes the reality, till destroying it … A reality that has now yielded his place to the imagination for a nice little trip one-way!
It does not make sense to wait for it to return.
Imagine being in a group of people, friends. Among these there is the one you like, that you love. During a conversation with the others of the group, unknown people start to take part in the conversation and someone of them starts to talk with the person you like and an exchange of glances, smiles and friendly jokes begins between them. How would you feel? The jealous would feel decentralized, ousted, threatened..
The film has long since begun.
The second time comes so soon but it never ends.
It’s always a fucking endless film.
Jealousy is a cold and dark tunnel.
A maze of nettles.
You feel lost,
you don’t see anything,
You suffer. You suffer. You suffer.
Yes, damn… you suffer!!!
Well, either this is a world of masochists or it’s a world of mindless people!
A world of directors who live their paranoid film of which they are the only spectators.
The jealous generally blames another for his/her suffering. His/her jealousy is always justified!
In a society where the desire is seen as a failure, and a relationship as a possession, suffering is almost a goal to achieve. It’s an ongoing competition to see who suffers the most.
Happy and carefree people are out of fashion. They’re crazy!
While the jealous sees every intruder as a likely challenger, the fool would see it as a likely friend, or even a likely lover.
The jealous sees the triangle as a threat while the fool sees it as a promise.
“The geometry is not a crime!” (Renato Zero, Triangolo)
But…do you love yourself?
I was a chronic ex jealous! I know how you feel..
What’s a feeling for you?
Do you think that it is something programmable? Something manageable? Something that you can crack down on command? No, of course it’s not.
Put in your mind: YOU CANNOT MANAGE THE FEELINGS OF THE PERSON YOU LOVE!
I personally would not want lovers whose feelings are not entirely spontaneous.
If the person I love, loves someone else too… what can I do?
I can only decide if continue sharing my love with him/her or not. But I certainly cannot force him/her to reciprocate my feelings nor to love just me.
In addition, jealousy has the power to destroy any feeling of love that already exists, so I do not really see the profitable side.
It’s not easy to share and live a perspective like that, but I believe that our peace and our health are always at the first place. Simply ask to yourself, “why should I not be jealous?”
And the only answer is: BECAUSE I LOVE MYSELF!