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Italian & English Articles! Personal reflections on life, relationships and energy that shines inside and outside each of us. Enjoy ♥

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LOVE

20 strangers kissing for the first time

Whether it’s true that these people were strangers or not I don’t care. I love this video. At least…why not? Why should not we kiss a stranger? Because he/she could be a murderess? Because he/she might have diseases? Because we don’t know where he/she was born, how old is he/she, if he/she uses drugs, if he/she has a boyfriend/girlfriend, if he/she is a criminal or what? How many times has happened to meet someone and to set an appointment with him/her? And how many times did you go to that appointment and did you kiss that person? Don’t you believe that at the second, third or fourth date that person is still a stranger? You can discover aspects of dear friends after years. Your partner may appear as a completely different person after years of marriage. You can love a person for a lifetime and one day seeing him/her unexpectedly as a stranger. Do not recognize someone anymore because he/she did or said something that you would never expected. Who is a stranger at least? Life is not enough to know ourselves, so how can you believe to know perfectly someone else? Where is the feeling in kissing a stranger you say? And if the feeling was in the kiss itself? And if the feeling was linked to the anonymity and to the fact that we can love someone even for a single moment in a totally disinterested way? An unpretentious kiss without any expectations. Maybe we should kiss always in this way the people we love. So..why not? We could be one big family. Some of you now could reduce my thoughts to a big pornographic orgy. No. But why not an orgy of feelings? Orgies of emotions and sharings. Hugs and kisses. Smiles and caresses.

A kiss,
Martina

Annunci

Jealousy

I decided to talk about jealousy, a dear topic for many…maybe for everyone.
I will try to tell you what I think about it..

First, the concept of jealousy has to be related with the concept of loving yourself because, in my opinion, if you are jealous it means you don’t love yourself. This is the key point, the basis of every jealous situations. I could not say more, but I want to get involved a little in this dense and impenetrable invisible prison called “jealousy”.

Generally, the state of jealousy is exercised by those who live relationships with insecurity, anxiety and possession. I believe that jealousy does not arise simply from the fear of losing a person, but it arises mainly from the fear of sharing that person.. And we cannot think that the person we love or that loves us, can be loved by someone else or love someone else at the same time…The fear that this shared love will be extended to other people it’s mostly dictated by the fear of all fears, i.e. the fear of contact: the thing that scares us most is that the person we love can touch or be touched by someone else. A fear so great that most of the time flows into the pathetic, when a simple look can set fire to most of the indomitable spirits, touching even deeper than a hand. A look that, for the jealous, can appear as a real betrayal: the jealous becomes the witness of an actual sexual act. He hears cries that burn inside. He/she feels naked, as if his/her body was suddenly stripped of all dignity, worn out and squeezed to the bone…a body that have to be thrown away.
The person that has received the glance instead appears as a flower just bloomed, eager to light and generous to donate his nectar. You cannot compete with it. It’s chaos.
However, this situation falls on the pathological when the exchange of glances in question becomes purely imaginary because it’s born in the imaginative mind of the jealous. A mind which is self- projecting a new film that runs fast and covers, envelops and crushes the reality, till destroying it … A reality that has now yielded his place to the imagination for a nice little trip one-way!

It does not make sense to wait for it to return.

Recurrent situation:
Imagine being in a group of people, friends. Among these there is the one you like, that you love. During a conversation with the others of the group, unknown people start to take part in the conversation and someone of them starts to talk with the person you like and an exchange of glances, smiles and friendly jokes begins between them. How would you feel? The jealous would feel decentralized, ousted, threatened..

The film has long since begun.
The second time comes so soon but it never ends.
It’s always a fucking endless film.

Jealousy is a cold and dark tunnel.
A maze of nettles.
You feel lost,
you don’t see anything,
you suffer.
You suffer. You suffer. You suffer.
Yes, damn… you suffer!!!

Well, either this is a world of masochists or it’s a world of mindless people!
A world of directors who live their paranoid film of which they are the only spectators.

The jealous generally blames another for his/her suffering. His/her jealousy is always justified!
In a society where the desire is seen as a failure, and a relationship as a possession, suffering is almost a goal to achieve. It’s an ongoing competition to see who suffers the most.
Happy and carefree people are out of fashion. They’re crazy!
While the jealous sees every intruder as a likely challenger, the fool would see it as a likely friend, or even a likely lover.
The jealous sees the triangle as a threat while the fool sees it as a promise.
“The geometry is not a crime!” (Renato Zero, Triangolo)

But…do you love yourself?
I was a chronic ex jealous! I know how you feel..
What’s a feeling for you?
Do you think that it is something programmable? Something manageable? Something that you can crack down on command? No, of course it’s not.

Put in your mind: YOU CANNOT MANAGE THE FEELINGS OF THE PERSON YOU LOVE!
I personally would not want lovers whose feelings are not entirely spontaneous.
If the person I love, loves someone else too… what can I do?
I can only decide if continue sharing my love with him/her or not. But I certainly cannot force him/her to reciprocate my feelings nor to love just me.
In addition, jealousy has the power to destroy any feeling of love that already exists, so I do not really see the profitable side.

It’s not easy to share and live a perspective like that, but I believe that our peace and our health are always at the first place. Simply ask to yourself, “why should I not be jealous?”

And the only answer is: BECAUSE I LOVE MYSELF!

LOVER HAS NO FAULTS

October 10, 2013

Premise:
1. For convenience, I’m writing to a female reader, but everything regards, overturning the point of view, even the male audience.
2. When I talk about the “horned” I refer to an acquaintance or a stranger, but never to a friend.
3. The situation doesn’t include the presence of children.

Each of you, at least once in your life, has been in the condition to desire the other women’s partner and/or to have been desired from him. Someone has just thought about it (utopian lover), others have sent small “romantic” signals but nothing more (potential lover), someone has instead attempted a courtship and then has given up the idea (affected lover), and others have participated fully in the betrayal (real lover). Regardless of the category of “lover” in which each of you has belonged, certainly questions/ thoughts like these have flashed in your mind:

“Can I try despite he’s engaged?”, ” What will happen if the wife comes to know it?”, “Why should I rankle her girlfriend even though she does not deserve it?”, “Will he ever love me as he loves her?”, “Why should I feel regret? If he cheats her then he does not love her!”, “If he is betraying her how can I be sure he will not do the same with me?”, “I do not want to be that kind of girl that ruin other people’s love/family”, “I would never do it because I would never want someone do the same to me”, “I don’t want to ruin my reputation” etc.

The situation is simpler than you think .

The problem is certainly not “don’t do to others what you do not want others do to you” .. this is one of the most hypocritical teachings. I reformulate the sentence as follows: “Do not do unto others what you’ll never do in general, regardless of yourself” , otherwise you wont do something just because you don’t want to receive the same treatment, and certainly not because you feel it’s really something wrong. It’s a bit like giving a gift for Christmas just with the expectation to receive another one (or do not do it just because you have not already received one before). So, don’t think too much about why or how, or if you could or could not be the lover of that person, because if you have never wanted to be the lover of anyone, you wouldn’t have never even asked to yourself these kind of questions. Here there is just yourself. The only question you need to ask to yourself is “Do I really want to be someone’s mistress?”. If the answer is yes, then do it. And do not feel guilty about the potential horned, because the fault is not yours. Trust me because if you refuse to be his mistress, he will find another women right behind you. The potential horned is already designed to become horned because she has on her side a fake boyfriend who acts a fake love and that gives fake flowers on Valentine’s Day… Indeed..perhaps at the beginning you can feel a little bit guilty but later you will realize that you have done a good action because you’re going to ruin a fake “family”, that has no sense to exist because of its lie, and if the horned have a piece of brain that still works, you will open her eyes before it will be too late for her. And if she has a shred of common sense, she will thank you. Otherwise, if she is a blind_stupid_poor girl, she will be angry with you, she will offend you in every way possible, she will try to tarnish your reputation, she will try to let you feel guilty giving you the blame for everything… she will pretend to leave the fake boyfriend (that in her eyes is after all a tender and weak teddy without faults) and then she will go back to him for being happily horned again. A real horned into a sea of ​​fiction.

Lover has no faults…

… except to do not love herself enough to do not be the mistress of anyone.

What does it mean being engaged?

May 30, 2013

I stopped getting engaged long time ago.

In fact I’ve never been really engaged.

Let me explain why.

Usually people get engaged because they are in love. So far, everybody seems to agree.

Obviously it is a mere illusion. After all, it has never happened that everybody would agree about something, not even about death.

Moreover, love is a questionable feeling, it certainly has nothing to do with what is called ‘engagement’ because I believe that it is impossible to love one and only one person, whether for a moment or always. Also you have to love yourself first before loving someone else, so you always love a minimum of two people.

When I love somebody, I love somebody. Enough. Stop.

Engagement?

But what is it?

Let me explain what I mean through some definitions about what is ‘ENGAGEMENT’:

  • ILLUSORY AGREEMENT OF PROPERTY . Attempt to link and condemn on your side forever the person you ‘love’;
  • FEAR OF SOLITUDE. Desperate for a certainty, to never be alone;
  • DON’T LOVE YOURSELF. Need to define yourself within a ‘official’ relationship;
  • SOURCE OF PRIDE. Attempt to increase self-esteem through the eyes of others;
  • WIFE AND MISTRESS. Security of being loved by someone and being able to have sex with someone else;
  • SOMEONE WHO IS WAITING FOR YOU FOREVER. Need to know that there is someone who is there for you when you go back home from work, college or one of your cheatings;
  • FEELING YOURSELF IMPORTANT FOR SOMEONE. Need to feel important for someone more than for yourself;
  • FEELING USEFUL. Provide for a lack of self-esteem feeling useful for someone else;
  • HYPOCRISY. Hypocritical self-belief that you need only that person;
  • ILLUSION. Delude yourself and the other person to be born to be together forever;
  • PROMOTER OF CONSUMISM. Spending money at Christmas, Valentine’s Day, anniversary, month anniversary, first-film anniversary, first-kiss, first-time anniversary…
  • END OF DIET. End of an endless diet;
  • FICTION. Fake satisfaction and happiness;
  • SEX INSURED. Security of being able to have sex when you want without having to pay anyone or relying on ‘unknown’ or being judged;
  • LOVE INSURED. Receiving always affection, deserved or not;
  • CHEATING INSURED. Voluntary imprisonment of themselves that makes cheating juicy.
  • FORMALITY.

And this is ‘LOVE’:

  • WALKING
  • A BEAUTIFUL DREAM
  • UNDERSTANDING
  • BEING UNDERSTOOD
  • FREEDOM
  • SHARING
  • A LETTER
  • RUNNING
  • A DROP OF SWEAT
  • DRAWING
  • DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE
  • A MEETING
  • A FIGHT
  • LOOKING THE SKY
  • A CONCERT
  • READING BOOK
  • SLEEPING
  • STUDYING
  • WORKING
  • A SMILE
  • A HUG
  • FEELING
  • A JOURNEY
  • A FILM
  • A SONG
  • RIDING A BIKE
  • DRINKING
  • EATING
  • HAVING SEX
  • MAKING LOVE
  • LOVING
  • LIVING

Loving is living.

Loving is not to be engaged.

And being engaged does not mean to love.

And there’s no need to tell you that ‘to live’ is a collective verb.

Love! = Live! = Love yourself and who lives with you!

Soul mate? It’s a bluff!

Women, men, your soul mate doesn’t exist. Or maybe let’s put it on another level…there are so many kindred spirits as are our characteristics, ideas, tastes, trends, opinions.. Do you have only one characteristic? Do you have only one idea? Do you have only one taste? Do you have only one trend? Do you have only one opinion? NO! Then explain to me, stupid women and stupid men, how can you believe that there is just one soul mate for you! Let’s assume that religion had never existed and that nobody had ever said that the man should mate with the woman, or that a woman should mate with the man, or that a man should mate with just one woman, or that a woman should mate with just one man, or that a woman doesn’t have to mate with another woman or a man shouldn’t mate with another man. Let’s assume that the sacrament of marriage had never existed and that nobody had ever said that the woman and the man should find their soul mate with whom spending the rest of their lives. Let’s assume that you had been the first human to populate the earth .. Would you have ever make the scruples that you do now? Would you have ever act and reason as you do now? NO! Because there would have been nobody before you to tell you how to act! You are right to be jealous of your boyfriend or girlfriend because he or she may, every day, meet interesting people like you or more than you, or at least interesting in a different way. Billion people inhabit the earth and maybe, who knows, even the universe … what could force you to be just with one person for the rest of your life? Love is a wonderful feeling, perhaps the first among feelings .. and because it’s the first feeling, it cannot be felt in a unique and one-sided way. The world is full of people waiting to be loved, one or two in the same time, and why not three, four, five, ten, all at once. We can love different people for different reasons. Why should we necessarily choose one and only one person? And it is not about being assholes or not to have heart, on the contrary, it is to have a heart so big to be open to any opportunity. A person can be a part of your life, but he or she will never be your life. Only you are your life and you can be a part of the life of someone else. But you’ll never be his or her life. If you think that all I have said is bullshit and if you believe in the soul mate, it’s only because you are fucking afraid to be alone. Love each other. Love. Everybody.

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